学生原文：My favourite city
Last summer, my parents decided to take me a trip to beijing. I was so excited that I can't sleep at night. After we arrived in beijing, we went to visit the summer palace first. We saw the birds flying over the kunming lake. Next we climbed the Great Wall. It has a long history, about 2000 years. I spent some time admiring the beautiful views of beijing. On the next day we got up early and saw soldiers raising the Chinese national flags in the square. Over the next few days, we tasted different local snacks. Beijing is really a wonderful place. I hope I will visit it again in the future.
01. Gerald 老师修改稿
Of all the cities I have visited cities, Beijing is one of my favorite ones.(重点句型运用) Last summer, my parents decided to take me on a trip to Beijing. I was so excited that I couldn't fall asleep at night. (was sleepless/didn’t sleep a wink 多种表达) After we arrived in Beijing, we went to visit Summer Palace first. We saw the birds flying over the Kunming Lake. What a peaceful and harmonious scene it was!（感受） Next, we climbed the Great Wall, which has a long history of thousand years. I was out of breath after I climbing. I spent some time admiring the beautiful views of mountains in the distance. The next day we got up early to see soldiers raising the Chinese national flags in People’s Square. When the flag went to the top, I felt proud being a Chinese and our motherland. （感受）Over the next few days, we taste different local snacks such as the roast duck and sugar-coated haws.（糖葫芦） （生动举例）Beijing Jing is really a wonderful place. I hope I will visit it again in the future.
在我访问过的所有城市中，北京是我最喜欢的城市之一。(重点句型运用) 去年夏天，我父母决定带我去北京旅行。我太激动了，晚上都睡不着。(失眠/一眨眼也没睡多种表达) 到达北京后，我们先去参观颐和园。我们看见鸟儿在昆明湖上空飞翔。多么祥和和谐的一幕啊!(感受) 接下来，我们爬上了有着千年悠久历史的长城。我爬山后上气不接下气。我花了一些时间欣赏远处美丽的山景。第二天我们起得很早，看到士兵们在人民广场升起中国国旗。当国旗升到最高点时，我为自己是中国人和祖国感到骄傲。(感受)在接下来的几天里，我们品尝了不同的当地小吃，比如烤鸭和糖葫芦。(糖葫芦) (生动举例)北京真是个好地方。我希望将来能再去看看。